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Doping Smoping: Why Sky's Froome is clean as a whistle



By  CJ Boom     09:58     
Poor old Froome and Team Sky, dogged by doping allegations. Everyone's trying to use scientific methods to work out and compare his climbing data to that of the golden years of drugs in the sport.

Now, now really, I've devised a very simple method to work out who's making the dough from EPO. It all comes down to looks and levers.
Take Sir Brad and Froome-Dog - one has veins popping out of their legs and the other looks like a skeleton trying to balance on a golf ball. You don't look like that if you aren't training your hardest and watching every gram of fat. His poor little pinched face looks rather ill and no one chooses to look like that if their didn't want to win fair and square.

Second is Brad's and Froome's super long levers. Force x Distance. Now that is science. Froome weighs about as much as a twig and he's got mega long levers cranking the pedals = more power.


So? Froome has long legs without any fat. What about his rival?
When Contador set one of the fastest times up Ventoux in 2009, he didn't look like Froome. In fact while Froome has (in my opinion) one of the ugliest styles on a bicycle, his knobbly knees knocking and spaghetti arems waggling. Contador and Rodregiuz are the essence of pro style.
They are thin but don't look too odd, how can you go up a mountain that fast if you haven't put your body through months of physical stress? And show no adverse effects.


And now in 2013 Contador is back, after his abscence due a dodgy steak (alarm bells should be ringing), and Bert can't keep up with Froome. So clearly Bert is off the 'sauce' he's still got his pro style looks but doesn't have the speed to match Jack from the Nightmare before Xmas (Froome).

His arms are fairly shapely, his legs don't look out of proportion and his face is definately not pinched.
Now let's consider Lance - we knew he was on drugs and he didn't look mental on a bike. He had a good form, chunky muscles and to some effect: Pro Style.




What about Nairo Quintana? He's compact. He currently has the young riders jersey on his shoulders. He looks ok, right?
Wrong. He looks like an old man, poor fellow. All that training has weathered his little columbian face, his face says 40 but his birth cerificate says early 20's. 


There you go, easy. That's how you work out if your Tour leader is on doping. 
Do they look unusual, ill and really odd on a bicycle?  Yes! 

Safe to say, they haven't cut any corners.

If you need some extra science then have a look at Science of Sport blog and their comparison of the pVAM scores of Froome versus Pantani and Armstrong from years ago.



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9 comments:

  1. I think this qualifies for the best post ever.

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  2. GW501516 + AICAR + Gas6 = sky's tall and skinnies

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Oh no, my theory is shot. boo hoo.

    Firstly GW501516 unlike EPO, it did not pass through clinical trials and cannot be used clinically anywhere in the world. There are significant healthy risks - for example trials were halted as it was found to cause tumours in mice.

    Secondly, it must be terrible going through life never being positive and believing in humanity...

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  5. I think that's the soundest anti-doping argument I've ever heard. Top banana!

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  6. Michael Rasmussen !?

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  7. I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. there are doping substances that melt away body fat and ones that transform normal muscle fibers into ones that are more efficient without gaining mass and weight. the way today's top cyclists look, is (also) the result of a new generation of doping substances. I'm not accusing, they have to do it to be on an even playing field.

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  8. with the same way of argumentation you could try to prove the opposite: today's ill looking skeletons have to be doping whereas the more normal looking previous generation sure doped less. I think they all have and had to dope. it's not betrayal, it's a necessity to deliver superhuman performances that are needed to make peple watch advertisements. but thanks for your entertaining article anyway!

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